The messages “Stand Firm in The Gap” and “Never Lose Hope” were quite convicting. So much so that I felt the need to send out a type of confession/recommitment message.
In the messages we saw our call to stand in the gap for those who have breaks in their spiritual walls and are in need of prayer, encouragement, and time. We do this by first strengthening our own walls and then being focused on the needs of others. The messages encouraged us to minister with our eyes firmly fixed on Christ, to persevere for as long as it takes, and to never lose hope. However, it’s a sad reality that some ministry efforts last so long, are filled with so many set-backs, and leave us discouraged and wanting to quit.
I haven’t written about my daughter Stacey in quite a while, but many have let me know they continue to pray for her. I have material about her posted on our web site (with her permission) but I haven’t updated the page for a long time because I’m not really sure what to say. There are so many times I thought she had reached bottom, so many times she has cried out to God for help, and so many times she has returned to a life of bad choices and pain.
Stacey has spent most of this past year either in jail or a rehab facility for addiction problems. Over the past thirteen years her additions have jumped around between drugs, pills, and alcohol. She is currently in jail but she gets out today. But this message is not really about Stacey, it’s about me and my shortcomings.
I need to confess that when she was sent to jail in February I pretty much quit – I gave up. I did not write and refused most of her calls. I didn’t give up on God’s ability to pull her out of the pit, but I gave up on my ability to do anything useful. I even convinced myself I might be causing harm if I continued to encourage. I believe I was wrong and missed the heart of God for how to minister and truly stand in the gap.
During this Easter season, I’m reminded of the need to persevere – to never give up – because God never gave up on me.
Romans 5:8
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
We all have a long, long history of running away from God. But God never gave up. He never quit! He persevered, loved us, called us, forever longed to be with us; and at just the right time, He died for us!
I have recommitted to standing in the gap for Stacey for as long as it takes. I repent of turning my back and will continue to love on her for the rest of my days. I’m not fully sure what this means but I will seek the guidance of the Spirit of God and trust Him to accomplish the ultimate healing. Let’s not place time limits on our commitment to stand in the gap for those who need our encouragement. And let’s remember the love and patience of God whenever we are discouraged and wanting to quit.
Have a Christ Centered Day!
Steve Troxel
God’s Daily Word Ministries
>Thank you for having the courage to share your struggles with us. I am not a parent, but I have stood in shoes that are similar to the ones you're wearing now. I recently lost my best friend to alcoholism. He too spent the past year in and out of rehab and jail, and I am deeply ashamed to say that I essentially gave up on him during his last stint in jail, something I never imagined could be possible for me to do. But then I also never imagined it would be so hard to deal with addiction. It's unbelievably painful to watch the beauty within someone you love so much be covered up by the darkness and despair of their disease. It can feel like a weight that's impossible to bear.
Unfortunately, I no longer have the opportunity to encourage and support my friend, to show him how much I love him and to help ease his burdens. I never imagined that I wouldn't have the opportunity to mend my relationship with him, but he passed away a few short weeks after getting out of jail the last time. I learned my lesson the hard way.
I feel absolutely terrible for "taking a break" from him during that time. It is, and I'm sure it will remain, my biggest regret in life. But I understand, too, that I am human and as such I am bound sometimes to fail the people I love and to make mistakes… sometimes terrible, heart-wrenching ones. Despite this, almost inconceivably, God still loves me. And every day He gives me another chance to be patient and generous and kind to those people who are still in my life.
I spent many years struggling with my faith. There were even a few years when I considered myself to be a full-fledged atheist. My best friend never judged me or tried to change me during that time, though he himself was a firm believer (and a future seminarian). I eventually realized that the love and grace I saw in him was what he saw in God. Slowly, I began to ask him questions, which eventually turned into long discussions, and with each new discussion my spiritual life began to awaken.
When my friend passed away, the only thing I knew to do was to turn to God. I started really reading the Bible for the first time. I looked everywhere for answers. I prayed and cried. And I found this website.
Thank you for your ministry. I read these emails every day, and always take something from them. My heart goes out to you and your daughter, and my prayers are with you.
>Thank you for sharing your pain and "possible" lack of faith/trust with your daughter.
She is living the life I survived mostly due to the same thing you did. My parents just let me rot, clean up and then looked me up when they knew I had straightened up.
They prayed and got results. Due to their sudden change in supporting me, I began to panic this was the last time I would have a chance to clean up.
To make a long story short, in essence, what they did was create a crisis that ultimately led me to a greater connection with Jesus Christ. Christ pulled me from the pit again, and my life is better than ever.
It hurt my parents terribly to do such a thing. But it was needed and that crisis bumped me off the track of self destruction I was headed for.
I know it hurts, but what you may not know is that you are doing the right thing. Sometimes, when the result you are getting is so bad from loving and helping so much, we have to turn and go the other direction. One which is Christ centered. Then and only then will the problem be removed. Again, thanks!
>Dear Steve,
Thanks so much for sharing the story of your journey and unconditional love for your daughter Stacey. You are a wonderful father! What has made such a deep impression on me ove the years is that you have never given up on her!!!
I've been involved in prison ministry with Prison Fellowship and Kairos for a number of years and have seen and ministered to a lot of hurting sons and daughters who are incarcerated. It so breaks my heart. They so need their earthly father and mother's love, affirmation and forgiveness. Unfortunately, some don't even know who their earthly parents are. Most of all they need to know the love of Jesus.
What has been so encouraging for me is to be on PF teams with mighty men and women of God who were once incarcerated and are now set free by the BLOOD OF JESUS!
So dad, continue in your faithful prayers and unconditional love for your beautiful daughter, and DON'T EVER GIVE UP! The Good Lord will bring complete healing and deliverance to Stacey too!!!
The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. — James 5:16
*** And thanks for your daily GDW teachings. I have shared them with the guys on the inside on more than one occasion.
>Thanks so much for all your encouragement. There is no other topic which receives so much response as when I write about Stacey. I believe that's simply because so many people can relate – either they have gone through similar struggles or deal with friends or loved ones who struggle in various ways. I pray that the body of Christ will become much more transparent and share our struggles with one another. This is the only way we can see the true needs and be even more encouraged by the faithfulness of God.
Steve T.